If you forget about ‘getting’ and concentrate on giving, more benefits come back to you in the end.

However, sometimes you have to draw a line. When I started out as a Virtual Assistant I collaborated with another start-up. I gave her pretty much all the knowledge I had, plus the legal contracts I’d had drawn up for Kaleidoscope.

The day I handed those over to her was the last time I saw her.

In a similar way, I often meet up with start-up Virtual Assistants. They come with a list of very specific questions about the systems and software I use. I don’t mind sharing it – but I had to learn all of this myself through four years of hard work.

So here are my tips to make sure you don’t leave a bad taste in anyone’s mouth – particularly your own.

When you’re taking

1. Think about what you’re asking for, and if someone has been kind enough to give you their time, don’t put them in the position of having to refuse to give away their intellectual property.
2. Try and give some value back for what you’ve received from someone.
3. You may feel you’ve got nothing to offer in return for a kindness, but acknowledge that and at the very least, maintain the relationship.
4. If you feel you’ve got nothing to offer in return – try harder! Ask more questions and listen more carefully to the answers.

When you’re giving

1. Give advice, information and contacts as freely as you can.
2. Draw your own boundary where you feel comfortable. Don’t let anyone bully you into giving more than you can,
3. Be wary of giving away your actual business services for free. You could end up inadvertently devaluing what you do.
4. Be clear in your own mind about your own values and what differentiates you from the competition, so you’re giving from a position of strength and confidence.
5. If you’re being asked for something very specific that you don’t want to share, give guidance rather than straight answers.

I’d love to know what you think about giving intelligently – please leave your thoughts in the comment boxes below.